


Three Months

by CaitlinRose94



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2680517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaitlinRose94/pseuds/CaitlinRose94
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off of my own prompt that I sent to lauronicamars on tumblr. Post episode 34.</p><p>"Imagine depressed Laura befriending a black cat on campus that follows her around and sneaks into her dorm room through the window and curls up on her yellow pillow at night and one day Laura can't find the cat anywhere and she searches all over campus for it and then gives up and walks in to her dorm room to see Carmilla sitting on her bed like 'It wasn't safe for you to be seen with me but I couldn't leave you'."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three Months

A sharp elbow to the ribs caused Laura to almost slide out of her seat. Kirsch was mouthing ‘you were asleep’ and gesturing toward the clock. Had she seriously been sitting in this lecture hall for forty minutes? She had no idea what they had been talking about and her notebook was blank. All of her classes were a watery blur these days. She wasn’t absorbing any information. She just didn’t care.

After another ten minutes, the class was over anyway. Laura hitched her backpack higher on to her shoulder and tried to avoid eye contact with the lecturer who had undoubtedly seen her napping. After getting out of the room, she shuffled out toward the courtyard, but was stopped by Kirsch.

‘Laura,’ he said, placing a gentle hand on her arm, ‘why don’t I walk you to your dorm room?’

Laura looked up in to his eyes, and they were full of pity. She hated it. She was met with it everywhere she went these days. Even by the regular Silas students who had no idea about what had happened. It was like she was giving off this sad vibe that caused everyone around her to make sympathetic puppy eyes. She knew that she looked miserable, but there was nothing she could do about it. Something as simple as brushing her hair often ended in tears, and Perry couldn’t come by every morning to braid it for her.

‘I’m fine.’ Laura said, mustering up the best smile she could. ‘I’m going straight to LaF’s anyway. I’ll see you later, promise.’

Kirsch wasn’t convinced, but knew better than to push Laura right now, so he left. Laura watched him walk away for a moment and then continued outside. She walked with her eyes on the ground; past the courtyard, past LaF’s building, and out in to the dense forest that surrounded the campus. She weaved her way through the brush for about twenty minutes before kneeling down. Twigs and rocks dug in to her knees. She didn’t even feel them. Laura extended a shaking hand and ran her fingers over a smooth unmarked stone.

 

After they lost Carmilla, Laura didn’t leave her dorm room for two weeks. For the first few days, Perry, LaFontaine, and Danny would come by and try to rouse her. This proved to be useless, so instead they would take turns twice a day to bring Laura food and make sure she was eating it. After two weeks, Betty moved back in. That was probably the hardest day so far because Laura had to pack up Carmilla’s things, half of which weren’t even hers. Betty didn’t mind though, she just helped to strip the bed and put everything in to boxes. Laura had told the others she wanted to throw them out herself when she was ready and they didn’t argue. Those boxes were now sitting in her bedroom at her father’s house. Eventually, everybody settled back in to a routine, except Laura. Life just didn’t seem to feel normal for her. Everything seemed jagged and broken and ruined. The girls, LaF, and the Zetas had all agreed to keep the more supernatural details of the Dean to themselves, and so they told everyone on campus that Carmilla had dropped out. They held no funeral for her, which was probably a good thing; Laura probably wouldn’t have been able to handle it. The only memorial for Carmilla was this polished stone in the dirt, and nobody knew about it but Laura. That’s how she wanted it though. She needed this to be just for her.

The sun had already set by the time Laura had torn herself from the grave. Her boots crunched against the icy ground and she zipped her parka up right to her throat. The stars were out tonight. They littered the sky like diamonds. She couldn’t find them beautiful anymore, but sometimes she would sit by the window and gaze up at them, wondering which constellation was Carmilla’s favourite. There were so many things she didn’t know about her… and that realisation caused hot tears to sting her eyes. Laura didn’t try to hold them back; there was nobody out here this late to see her cry. She collapsed on a bench and let herself be overwhelmed. She cried until her throat throbbed, and sucked in long breaths of the frosty air. This was it. She couldn’t do this anymore.

A crack. Someone had broken a twig behind her. Laura leapt to her feet, drawing a can of bear spray from her backpack. She couldn’t see anyone, but she could hear something. It took a moment for Laura to realise it was purring. Just as she lowered the bear spray, a cat blacker than her surroundings slunk out of the shadows and rubbed itself against her leg. She glanced around, where was this thing’s owner?

“Hi,’ Laura said, kneeling down and stroking the cat’s head, ‘where’s your family?'

The cat jumped up to meet Laura’s hand, begging her to pet it again. It was lost, she realised. Boy, did she know what that felt like.  
‘Come on,’ she said. Laura scooped the cat up in to her arms and carried it back to her dorm room. There was a strict no pets rule, but nobody was awake to enforce it. Besides, she was just going to let it sleep in the bathroom tonight and then she’d find the owner tomorrow. Laura slowly pushed the door open with one hand, peeking inside to see if Betty was asleep. She wasn’t even in there, which didn’t surprise her. Betty spent most of her nights over at Natalie’s, whom she’d grown very close to since being rescued. The cat leapt out of Laura’s arms and landed on Betty’s bed. It pawed at her bed covers and meowed.

‘Shh!’ Laura said, as if the cat could understand her. ‘If someone sees you in here we’re both dead.’

Laura pulled a spare blanket out from under her bed and laid it out on the bathroom tiles. She tried calling the cat over, but it wouldn’t budge. She gently lifted it up off Betty’s bed and placed it on the blanket. It didn’t look very happy.

‘Hey, you’d be freezing in the snow without me. This is practically The Ritz.’ The cat sat there, unblinking. Laura glanced over at her alarm clock. It was two o’clock and she had a class in five hours. ‘Stay,’ she said to the cat.

Laura shook off her heavy winter clothing and let it fall to the floor in a heap. She slipped in to one of Carmilla’s shirts, which she kept to sleep in, and crawled under the covers. After a few minutes, she felt a soft thud. The cat had jumped up on to her bed. Laura raised her head to look at it, and was met with deep brown eyes. It didn’t look like it would really shed a lot, and she was pretty exhausted from crying so hard.

‘Fine. You can sleep up here.’ The cat leapt over Laura and settled on top of her yellow pillow. It was oddly comforting, and it didn’t take long for her to drift off to sleep.

 

Laura awoke to blearing sunshine. She’d forgotten to close the blinds before falling asleep. Half dazed, she stumbled across the room and wrenched them shut. She’d woken up an hour before her alarm was set to go off, great. She was going back to sleep. Laura collapsed on to her bed, curling up against her yellow pillow. Her eyes shot open. The pillow… it smelled exactly like Carmilla. It couldn’t, it had been months since she’d last touched it, but it was undeniably her scent. Laura’s puffy eyes began to swell with tears again, and then it hit her. Where was the cat? She lifted up her blankets, but there was nothing. She searched the whole dorm room. It was gone. It probably left and headed back home. She felt like a cat would know how to do that. With the pillow clenched tight against her chest, Laura spent the next hour lying awake in her bed.

Laura had class with LaFontaine today. She was trying out a few different options for a new major. She’d decided she didn’t want to be a journalist anymore. LaF had convinced her to sign up for a Biology class this semester, and had been trying really hard to keep Laura motivated. They would write out notes for her, along with comical illustrations to help explain the harder parts, but Laura just couldn’t get in to it. She felt guilty. LaF was trying so hard to make her happy, but she didn’t know if that emotion was even possible for her anymore.

It had started pouring rain, so instead of visiting Carmilla, Laura had come straight home today. She had a brief run-in with Betty, who had stopped by to shower. They made some small talk, then Betty had given her a sympathetic smile, and left. Now Laura was reading one of Carmilla’s philosophy books by the window. She was stirred by a soft tapping noise. Peering over the top of the book, Laura saw a small black paw pressed up against the glass. Unbelievable, this cat couldn’t find its way home but it knew how to get back to her dorm room? Laura placed the book back on to her shelf and hoisted the window open. The cat was precariously balanced on a tree branch, and in one elegant bound, it cleared the windowsill and landed on the floor.

‘You again.’ Laura said. The cat rubbed itself against her leg, and she couldn’t help but feel like they had some kind of weird connection. ‘You’re soaked.’ The cat was surprisingly okay with Laura wiping it over with a towel, and even willingly rolled on to its side so that she could dry its tummy. This might be the most well-mannered cat in the world. Laura settled back beside the window with her book. The cat curled up in her lap, and placed a paw across the page.

‘Hey! I’m reading that.’ It tapped against the book and meowed. Laura laughed. ‘Okay, I guess I’ll read it aloud for you.’ That night, Laura once again slept with the cat above her head, and was content.

 

This continued on for another month. Every night, the cat would tap at Laura’s window, and every night she would let it in. Sometimes she read to it, or her, as she’d decided. A few days ago Danny had brought over some pie from the cafeteria, and had begun violently sneezing. Laura asked if she was okay, to which Danny responded by asking if there was a cat somewhere in the dorm. Laura’s eyes had slid to the yellow pillow on her bed for a moment, but she said she’d never seen a cat here. 

Tonight, Laura was particularly upset. It was three months to the day since Carmilla had died, and her heart ached. The gang had offered to spend the night with her, popcorn included, but Laura didn’t want that. Oddly enough, she just wanted to see the cat. She’d become a sort of confidant; a being for Laura to spill her guts to without feeling guilty or childish or stupid. The sun had been down for three hours, but there was still no sign of her. Laura stuck her head out of the window and called for her, but there was nothing. She felt sick. Something told her that this was wrong. What if a predator had killed her? What if a car had hit her? No. No no no no no. She wasn’t losing anyone else, she couldn’t. She needed that stupid cat. She needed her. She didn’t know why, but it was important for her to know where she was. Laura pulled on the warmest coat she owned, grabbed a flashlight, and left the dorm. There was heavy fog tonight and it made it impossible to see more than a few metres on any side. She called out. Nothing. Her eyes were burning. Laura walked all over the campus. The fog drenched her coat, and the cold sunk through in to her skin and bones. She was completely freezing. And if she was freezing, there’s no way the cat was out here. She must have finally gone home. Laura wasn’t mad, but she was upset. She’d grown so attached without meaning to. That cat was the first thing she’d really loved since Carmilla.

‘Goodbye.’ She said. Her voice was barely above a whisper. ‘I’ll miss you, stupid cat.’

She was grateful to be back inside her building. Laura practically peeled her coat off and threw it over her shoulder. She was definitely showering. As she approached her room, she noticed that soft yellow light was spilling out from beneath the door. Soft music came from behind the walls. Betty was home. Laura took an extra minute to calm herself, she didn’t want to look like she’d been crying, and turned the doorknob. She looked over at Betty’s bed and it was empty. Hers wasn’t. Laura couldn’t believe it. It was Carmilla. She was sitting on Laura’s bed like no time had passed. Like she hadn’t been dead for three months. Neither of them spoke. Laura was sure this was a dream. Had she fallen asleep in class? Had she dreamt about losing the cat? The cat…

‘It was you.’ Laura said. This didn’t seem to surprise Carmilla at all.

After a long pause, Carmilla spoke. ‘It wasn’t safe for you to be seen with me, but I couldn’t leave you.’

Laura didn’t know what that meant and she didn’t care.

‘Are you real?’ She asked.

Carmilla cocked an eyebrow. ‘As real as you are, cupcake.’

That word hit Laura like a punch in the chest. She hadn’t been called that in a long time. And suddenly, she couldn’t help it. She was crying. But it wasn’t like it had been for the past three months. She wasn’t miserable, she was happy. She was so happy and shocked and her body didn’t know how to handle it, so she cried. Carmilla silently extended her hand, and Laura took it without question. With a gentle tug, she pulled Laura in to her arms. It was an insane feeling, to have those arms around her again. It was the safest place on earth to her. She’d never felt more at home. They stayed like that for a long time, until finally, Carmilla broke the hug. Her eyes glistened with tears, and Laura saw the stars in them. Slowly, slowly, slowly, Carmilla drew nearer to her. Laura closed her eyes, and they kissed. It wasn’t passionate, or heated, or any of the things Laura had imagined all those months ago. It was full of something more than that. It was the unspoken ‘I love you’ that had been sitting on both of their tongues for a long, long time. Their lips parted, and Carmilla placed her hand on Laura’s cheek.

‘By the way,’ she whispered, ‘did I forget to mention I could turn in to a cat?’ 

Laura started laughing. It was the first time she’d laughed in what felt like forever.

‘Yeah you failed to mention that, actually.’ Laura giggled. ‘Wait a second… hey! I let you in to the bathroom when I showered!’

Carmilla’s cheeks flushed with colour, but she laughed.

That night, finally, Laura slept with Carmilla beside her, and was content.


End file.
